Study: Researchers haven't learned basic math.

MSNBC.com is now sporting a rather astonishing headline:

"Even grandma had premarital sex, survey finds"


Now this may come as a shock to a lot of people whose grandmothers were in their teens and twenties during the early part of this century. Not to worry, baby-boomers, they don't mean your grandma. They are speaking of grandmas who were born a little later, in the 1940's.

Wow, that's early, you say. But remember, these folks were BORN in the 40's. They weren't having premarital sex in the nursery. ,That came later, in their teens, twenties, and even up to their 40's. And, in case you don't remember, it takes a few years to get from your own crib in the one sense, to someone else's "crib" in the newer sense, if you catch my drift.

Unfortunately, the MSNBC article conveniently fails to mention if the survey took into account which decade it was when Grandma had sex outside of marriage. The good news is, we can use our brains to fill in some of the blanks with reasonably educated hypotheses, even if the article writers did not.

Now, I know it's hard for some of us. I haven't taken a math class myself in about 8 years, and for some of you it may have even been longer. But, humor me here, and do a little basic addition.

So, let's say Grandma was born in 1940. This means she finished high school sometime around 1958. This means grandma had her first legal alcoholic beverage in 1961. Or, let's say grandma was born in 1949. This means she had her high school graduation around 1967, and she could have been an anti-war protesting, pot-smoking hippie college student by 1970. A grandma born in the 1940's would be in her own 40's during the 1980s, and we know how popular pre-marital sex was by then. Let's also not forget that during the 70's and 80's the divorce rate in this country began to rise significantly. It's possible that even if Grandma didn't have sex before her first marriage, she may have had sex between marriages.

Basically this survey has just discovered that the generation that started the Sexual Revolution has now become old enough to be grandparents. But they are probably too busy enjoying their grandchildren to need a survey to tell them this. Unless they are still smoking...

Way to go, MSNBC.



PS: Apparently only 88% of grandmas born in the 40's had pre-marital sex at some time in their lives. Kudos to the 12% that didn't. When people my age are grandmas only 5% of us will be able to say the same.