Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Obama promises hope for refrigerator victims.*

Original article by Christina the Crazy Schoolmarm

Community organizers across the United States are up in arms about recent studies revealing that fuller refrigerators use less energy, and are therefore less costly to run.

"This is an outrage" said one angry activist while picketing outside of General Electric's corporate offices. "It is a deliberate attempt by Big Energy and Big Refrigeration to squeeze every last dime out of working-class Americans who simply cannot afford to fill their refrigerators full enough to save money on electricity. Their CEO's get rich and fill their refrigerators to the gills, while we struggle to put anything in ours. It's about time Washington did something about it, since these corporate fat-cats won't."

When asked about Senator Obama's plan to deal with the refrigeration crisis, Joe Biden responded:

"President.....excuse me... Senator Obama is deeply concerned about the needs of America's working poor. One of the first things he will do is president is turn the page on the inequities of America's refrigeration system. It is time we stopped giving tax breaks to wealthy executives who feed off of the energy used to cool the empty refrigerators of those less fortunate. You know, I was just talking to Tim Farley of Ottumwa Iowa, and he told me how hard it was to choose between paying his electric bill and feeding his family. It's not fair that Tim has to work so hard to pay for energy to cool food he can't afford to buy. President....oops, excuse me again...I mean Senator Obama will also work with Congress to pass legislation to eliminate this refrigeration discrimination. If approved, the Obama Plan will require that all refrigerators manufactured after 2010 be more efficient the more empty they become. This way, the higher electric bills will be paid by the wealthier Americans who can afford them, and those who cannot afford buy enough food to keep their refrigerators full will no longer be punished for having less."

Obama's opponent, Senator John McCain spoke recently on this issue as well, saying, "The fundamentals of America's refrigeration system are strong. Energy efficient appliances are important for consumers who want to save money in these tough economic times. My friends, let's not throw the baby out with the bathwater. Let's not penalize companies for successfully finding ways to help consumers and our environment. Let's support businesses to make the cost of food production lower, and find ways to help create better educational opportunities for our young people, so they can afford to feed their families and keep their refrigerators full. Let us also support quality adult education for Americans who wish to find new careers that allow them to put enough food on the table, and in the fridge, and maybe even put a little a way for their sons' or daughters' college education."

When asked his opinion of the McCain plan, Senator Biden commented, "Of course the Obama plan is better. All we are trying to do here is create change that will level the playing field.

When asked if the plan may have unintended consequences for the environment and the economy, Biden added, "Is this a real question? Who is writing these for you? Rush Limbaugh? John McCain's plan will do nothing to change the way refrigerators are manufactured and marketed to an unsuspecting public, nor will it change the windfall profits CEO's make from the extra energy used by the working class to power empty refrigerators. President..oops, excuse me, Senator Obama's plan will. Mark my words. Shortly after this election there is going to be a serious refrigeration crisis in this country, and, in spite of what Talk Radio may say, Americans will have to trust that the Obama plan will work, even when it looks like it won't. "

This reporter attempted to pose additional follow-up questions. However, the Obama-Biden campaign had already canceled the rest of the interview and suddenly discovered that another news outlet needed our team's seats on the campaign plane.

*Schoolmarm Vocabulary Word of the Day:


Look it up.

No comments: