Friday, April 6, 2007

San Francisco Gate on Conservative "Breeders"

The liberals are rejoicing in the town that gave us Nancy Pelosi. They think conservatism is dying, and naturally polls and statistics are at the heart of it.

Apparently, most 18-25 year olds identify themselves as liberal.Woohoo! All they have to do is wait for those crusty old conservatives to die! But wait a minute, many 18-25 year olds were raised by baby-boomers and ex-hippies who waited till their 30's and 40's to have children. Of course they will take on their parents' world views. Plus, people are naturally a bit liberal from age 18-25. It is part of being young. There is no gaurantee they will still be that way once they are 40-something with a job and a mortgage--and maybe a child or two--or ten if they become religious conservatives. That brings me to the other little problem liberals are having.

For years now, I've been hearing conservative talk show hosts remind us that we will eventually outnumber liberals. After all, we have more children. And it turns out that 4 out of 5 of them will remain conservative as adults, at least according to unnamed research cited by a nervous liberal columnist at the San Francisco Gate.

This freaks them out. They just can't keep up with us! It's not fair! How can they pay the excessive rent on their tiny apartments, pay for their expensive green energy and carbon offsets, and still send their kids to the finest liberal college-prep preschools? How can they keep up with us without overpopulating the planet? Speaking of overpopulation, where will they even put children in those tiny over-priced apartments? Time for another social welfare program, I guess. Maybe a birth-offset program. Or, they could always move out of state, as I did, but most self-respecting California liberals would rather do just about anything than than move to the savage wilderness of Middle America. And don't even talk to them about Southern states, where the residents' necks are supposedly as red as the thermometers.

Yes, the 'Frisco Libs picture our men scratching their exposed pot-bellies, watching NASCAR on TV, and calling to the slatternly, barefoot, pregnant woman in the kitchen to bring them another beer, while five little uncouth tobacco-chewing kids play on the floor with a mangy dog. (This is all in a shabby double-wide trailer) They figure we're all racist white rednecks with southern accents, limited vocabularies, barely any education, and menial, low-paying jobs. We think sex is dirty and evil (and yet somehow we manage to be "red-hot breeding machines" How is that possible? Shouldn't we be too exhausted from running after the four kids we have already to make more?) Oh, yes, and we all attend evangelical mega churches. I guess the columnist forgot to include us Catholics, who are even more notorious for having large families than our evangelical brethren. I'm hurt.

This is what the Left thinks of us, ladies and gentlemen.

Let them. It'll give me a laugh now and then when I tell them I'm a Conservative Latina, and a born and raised Coastal Californian to boot. The priceless stunned silence is quite amusing. Plus, I'm astonished that they haven't noticed how many of us--even some who have been home schooled-- make it through the institutions of higher education, which they themselves usually run, and and that some of us are getting cool jobs and advanced degrees out of the deal (no, we're not all becoming greedy big-business executives).

That suits me fine. If they persist in telling themselves that we are ignorant and incapable of independent thought, our conservative spawn will have a much easier time taking over "like a spiritual STD" as one columnist puts it. I'd prefer to think of my offspring in a more positive way, though. After all, each new human life is, from the moment of conception, a remarkable individual being made in the image of God. We have yet to cure anything with stem cells obtained by destroying them. But living human embryos, stem cells and all, may actually grow up to become the long-awaited cure for one thing at least: Left-coast liberalism.

Want to see the articles for yourself? Here you go, brace yourself for the finest examples of Bay Area journalism:
When Liberals Rule the World
Republicans are Red-Hot Breeding Machines (Podcast)
Republicans' Fertile Future.
Attention Liberals: Please Breed.

Hat tip: Catholic Pillow Fight

Addendum: Speaking of the South, Belle-ah over at Southern Somedays has posted some gorgeous pictures of Southern Springtimes. Libs, don't look at this. It might make you consider a relocation, and nobody wants that. :)


Belle-ah said...

You really gave me a big, ole smile this and my five, tobacco chewing "young'uns", that is.

Christina said...

Glad to be of service. :)